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He had no plans for his future. The VA Hospital in either Wichita or Topeka would take on his future medical needs, which Will hoped were few. He hated hospitals, having spent the last three years of his life in them.Bobby, and a still weeping Erica, learned that he’d lost the leg early on, before he’d even regained consciousness from his initial injuries. The hand had gone a month later. Physically, the vast majority of his treatment since then, had been all about the burns. He’d had dozens of skin graft surgeries. There had also been additional surgery on his leg as they tried to get him to wear a prosthesis. He didn’t see the point. Even if he could walk, he still couldn’t work, and he was used to the chair now. They were talking about some contraption to take the place of his left hand, so he could grip the left wheel of his chair and get around a little better. They kept insisting it wouldn’t be necessary if he’d just accept a prosthesis for his leg.Of course, there was a lot. Lick this, push that, tug over here, touch ever so slightly, and boom, the boom would happen, and it would be over. He even got to where he didn't care if he came or not. Get her off, get it over with, go to sleep. Yep, that was my Howard.It just seems so, so stupid to me to think that the greatest feeling on earth, the orgasm with a lover, was diminished to a chore. A smelly nasty clinical chore that had no blood, no passion in it. How could he do that to me, the he to whom I vowed to forsake all others for?It was this brain-numbing condition that got me over all my old hobbies, like writing, or knitting, or collecting stoneware, in favor of a desperate attempt to find some way to feel alive again in my little prison, where every move and word I take is judged as wanting.And, oh baby, do I ever want. And don't forget need.The first thing I would do in the morning after the breadwinner would leave was to take my clothes off, and put some things inside of me. Yeah, there. I've been.
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